love is never blind, but often shortsighted

I admit it: I watch reality tv. Actually, correction, I watch a LOT of reality tv. As a writer (and a relatively intelligent human being), this feels especially embarrassing. I should know better...shouldn't I? Have higher standards? I blame this on an interest in seeking cognitive dissonance. Life as a grad student often leads to days spent debating 19th century French theater and evenings reading long-winded articles about the psychology of conjoined twins. So, sometimes I just feel like I deserve a mental break.

Today the show in question is Dating in the Dark, a self-proclaimed 'social experiment' (barf) in which three single guys and three single gals date IN THE DARK (get it? like the title?) to determine whether or not meaningful connections can be formed without the benefit of a face-to-face meeting. The premise is problematic for a whole host of reasons, not least of which is the assumption that a visually-based chemistry is always somehow more shallow and less legitimate than a connection based on what we get from our other senses. If a guy turns me down because of the low timbre of my voice, my inability to give a good capsule summary of myself, or the interior of my car (they do that sometimes on the show) is that really any less superficial?

Increasingly frustrating is the fact that the show's producers seem determined to find people who purposely conceal information like, for example, their line of work(so as not to give up the secret that they are actually models/strippers/traditionally smokin' hot folks) or have some distinguishing non-visual characteristic that serves as a complete red herring for what they actually look like.

If it's shallow or superficial or somehow immature to believe that love has to be felt with all five senses, then I am perfectly willing to be all of those things. We love and lust with our eyes not because that's all that matters, but because there are intangible, fascinating things about a person's physical appearance that subconsciously give us clues about the rest of this person's appeal. I love the way you smile in spite of -- not because of -- your nice white teeth, because when you grin it goes all the way to your eyes and I know that you are genuinely happy. I feel my eyes gravitate towards your hands, not because they are especially large or small or calloused or smooth, but because I am mesmerized by the wholly unique way you use them as you talk to me. I had no interest in knowing you in the dark until my body and my brain and my heart knew you in the light. Take that, Mr. Social Experiment.